Level
I Circlework™
Training:
A Participant's Report
by Anne Peek
"The Art and Practice of Circlework™"
was a week-long workshop and training
held from September 30 through October 6, 2000. Our circle
was composed of fifteen women plus the facilitator, Jalaja
Bonheim. The women were experienced with personal healing
work, and most had themselves taught workshops or facilitated
groups. They came from various backgrounds (there were businesswomen,
teachers, ministers, etc.), and each woman was strong, dynamic,
and dedicated to Spirit.
The setting was lovely. The retreat center was located in
a beautiful wooded area in the rolling foothills of the
Berkshires in southwestern Massachusetts. Surrounding the
yard were woods, which contained a stream and paths. Because
of the distance from large cities, the stars at night were
brilliant. During the week of our stay the fall leaves reached
their peak colors.
Although the content of each day varied, the general schedule
of our days was similar: We ate breakfast together at 8:00.
Our morning circle began at 9 and ended with lunch, at approximately
12:30. The afternoons were free until 5, when we met for
an hour in the dance studio. Then we had supper, followed
by an evening session.
Generally, each session began with movement, often with
meditation. Most of our activities during the week were
experiential. In the dance studio we did movement meditations,
circle dances, sounding, and experienced the sacred geometry
of the circle. In addition to the exercises facilitated
by Jalaja, at one point during the week each of the women
in the circle led the group in an activity lasting approximately
thirty minutes (We were told before we arrived that each
of us would be expected to do this.).
The learning was both intellectual and experiential at once.
Jalaja led discussions about various properties of the circle
and how to lead one. At the same time, we were immersed
in activities that allowed us to experience these principles
for ourselves. Jalaja repeatedly encouraged us to sense
in our bodies what was happening in the circle. We had the
opportunity to experience Jalaja modeling the behavior of
a circle facilitator, as well as to ask questions about
what she was doing and why. And we built community with
each other, which taught us about our own strengths and
vulnerabilities. This whole-body learning, combined with
the energy of the circle and the length and intensity of
the workshop, was deeply transformational.
Summarizing our intellectual learnings is difficult, but
among others, we discussed the following Circlework™
topics:
Through our experiential work, our interactions with the
women in the circle, and our leadership experiences, we
also learned about our personal calling to Circlework™
and about the particular strengths and weaknesses which
would affect our circle facilitation.
Some Highlights Of What I Learned:
I learned a great deal of practical and theoretical information
about circles, some of which I already knew intuitively
or from my own experience, but which I can now express more
completely in words. I learned many subtle things about
facilitation by watching Jalaja, including:
-
how she kept track of time while nevertheless giving
us all the feeling of time spaciousness.
-
how
she made us all feel equal and safe in the circle, while
still allowing everyone to express their personalities.
-
how
she entered into the group sharing and mealtimes so
that she was a part of the circle, while at the same
time remaining private enough to maintain the role of
facilitator.
-
how
she dared to follow her convictions about how things
should be done because they were based on her own felt
sense rather than others' opinions (for example:
1) not to worry about what element, color, etc. "goes"
with which of the four directions, but simply to feel
the four directions in our bodies)
2) not to have an altar unless it is made with intention,
so that it does not become a dumping ground for "sacred"
objects).
My belief in the importance of physical movement in transformational
work was reaffirmed. Not only did I love all the movement
(it made me feel "at home"), but I experienced how well
continuous movement kept us grounded, acting out of our
hearts rather than just our heads. This effect grew more
profound as the days went on. I found myself talking less
and less, communicating with breath and eye contact and
physical actions.
An additional effect of the movement, that deepened as the
week went on, was our conviction that our bodies were beautiful,
no matter what their shape. We then became increasingly
comfortable with our sensuality. As we allowed ourselves
to be more sensual, we also became more joyful.
I learned more about my fear of community. I went some distance
toward healing that fear because I allowed myself the vulnerability
to enter fully into this community. That the workshop lasted
a week made hanging in despite the fear harder, but it also
made it easier to feel the rewards from doing so.
I learned how deeply I resonate with the Circlework™
concept and experience. This knowledge was not intellectual,
but felt in my heart and belly. Frequently I burst into
tears as I sensed the energy moving all around us. I think
because my heart was so open my ability to sense energy
and meaning was heightened. I was nearly always aware (instead
of the usual brief glimpses) of at least one nonmaterial
dimension in addition to the everyday physical dimensions.
I felt as though I had done Circlework™ in hundreds
of lifetimes, and that ancient knowledge of circle dynamics
is encoded in my blood and bones.
I gained self-confidence through facilitating my ritual
and experiencing the leadership of the other women. Not
only was my ritual very well-received, but every woman's
offering was different and wonderful. After a week of this,
it was easy to develop trust that any offering I might make
with clear intention and a full heart would be fine. I had
been nervous beforehand that my ritual would be "wrong"
in some way, but I did resist the temptation to alter it.
Facilitating the ritual also helped me see what some of
my unique gifts might be. I was able to reaffirm my convictions
that ritual is powerful; that not everyone feels comfortable
creating it; and that music and humor can help deepen ritual
considerably. I see that I have a natural affinity for creating
ritual with music and humor, a playful approach to serious
topics, and that this is needed in the world.
I had an opportunity to stand in the center of the circle
and experiment with sounding, with finding my true voice.
Although I thought my voice was relatively open since I
regularly sing in public, this experience was powerful and
freeing. The turning point in the process came when Jalaja
said to me, "try making it not so hard." Suddenly my inner
child took over ("you mean I can just play?"), and out flowed
all the love of life and singing that I hold (or, as much
as I could let out at that time) and the result was ecstasy.
The others in the circle told me later how moving it was
to see my inner beauty and joy so powerfully revealed. I
came away with a deeper sense of my inherent value. Perhaps
even more important was the revelation that nothing I do
need be hard, that I can trust the strength and power of
my inner child. I felt a big burden slide off my back.
There were numerous smaller personal revelations during
the workshop, too. I know the experience is still percolating
in my being. For now I can say that since the workshop I
have gained: a deeper sense of both solidity/groundedness
and lightness; a stronger feeling of self-esteem and self-confidence;
greater trust in following the teachings of my intuition
and my longing; and a greater willingness to lead from the
heart. What a harvest!
